I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
