3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
