just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
