belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
