Jerry, you need to find god
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
that's an acceptable place to lick
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize