walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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