to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
