after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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