You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
