Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
