I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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