i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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