8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
