A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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