bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
