tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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