I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
She swung at the pinata with crutches
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
