I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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