I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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