I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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