gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
it hurts more in the daytime
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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