Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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