Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
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