I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Terrible idea I love it
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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