My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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