Who wears a wallet chain?!
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
