wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
