that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
