Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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