u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Randomize
