PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
