Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
