We won't sleep together?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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