i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
The struggles of a small town man whore
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
