Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I just found puke in my bra..
a search helicopter?!
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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