She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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