Cold hands, warm shart.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
