So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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