Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
