i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
