Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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