Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Randomize
