I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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