You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
