Me. At least after what I've been through.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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