I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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