I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Randomize
