they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
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