How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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