I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize