shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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