is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize