So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
