those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
