we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
