Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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