and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
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