he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
