I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
