I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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