we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
