turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
