make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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