Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
