what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
