I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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