I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Holy sore nipples Batman
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
