I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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