I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
