I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
