is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
