You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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