trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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