too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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