her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
