you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
