remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Randomize
