You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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