Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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