I skipped work to stalk him.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize