We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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