Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
ttyl tear gas
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
