yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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