You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize