I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
