if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
