He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
