I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
