So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
