I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
