So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
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