Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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