was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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