chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize