I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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